Big Daddy 'Ye got upset with paparazzi at LAX yesterday and we really aren't sure what set him off but it's Kanye so he doesn't even need an excuse to lose it. He's just a sensitive mofo.
Anyway, we hear that the pap is in the hospital and Kanye is wanted for felony robbery. Why felony robbery and not assault and battery? Who knows but LAPD's Robbery Homicide Unit says even though the paparazzi did sustain injuries, they want him for robbery. (LA is still the wild west in some ways).
Sources say the pap is definitely planning to press charges, and while police aren't currently considering a possible charge of battery they ARE investigating a potential attempted robbery.
The alleged victim was taken to the hospital after the incident, and his current condition is unknown.
We could pontificate on why the hell he knocked up Kim Kardashian if he hates paparazzi since getting papped is part of the Kardashian family's stock and trade but that's a question he has plenty of time to reflect on over the next eighteen years.
So instead, we here at the Morning Tea would like to offer Kanye some tips on his paparazzi attack tactics.
1. Ninjas move in silence. Don't talk about beating someone's ass, just beat that ass. Kanye did a whole monologue to the pap before he actually went for him. He should have pulled a Bjork. She said nothing to reporter Julie Kaufman, before going all Bad Girls Club on her. Check it.
2. Break cameras not bones. Get in their face, talk some shit and then slap the camera but don't actually hit the paparazzi. Check out Quentin Tarantino's technique. Feel free to pay homage to it next time you run up against a pesky pap.
3. If you are going to fight, you might as well do what LL Cool J's mama said, "Knock him out". We don't condone violence but at some point you're going to be in a bad mood because you are cranky like that. So here's Mike Tyson to show you what to do.
What do you think? Do you think Kanye's paparazzi fights are behind him? Or do you foresee many more in his future?
There must be more to the story if he's wanted for robbery? I'm not saying it was right to hurt anyone, but at the same time it's not right to invade people's privacy like that with a camera in their face wherever they go just for a few bucks. Someday, someone should start following the papperazzi with a camera and posting the photos online.
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